i know i’m a mushyfuck but i’m not kidding when i say you’re the best thing you’ve ever happened to me.
I just…. I just want this horse to be my own.
Texting me and calling me a hoe will not get my attention.
I’d fuck Betty White, I don’t care if she’s old enough to be my great-grandma. I’d fuck her.
I wish someone would delete the texts I send when I’m drunk so I don’t have to read them the next morning.